After a short break after hectic work life, I felt happier. Before the vacation, I dread going to work.  No matter how I stay back after office hour, I still have tons of work undone. 

Vacation really cleanse the negativity of the past few months. I manage to have good quality sleep during the short break too.  Hopefully, I can continue the healthier lifestyle, but I am worried I go back to the same pattern. 

Keep having headache and joint pains in the last few days.  Hope it go away soon. Need to stretch..



1/3 of the year has passed and I am still stuck in a rut. 

I want to live my life for myself but I can’t. 

Many restless night that resulted in fatigue. 

Work life is so soul sucking. Felt like every email is a dementor. 

The thought of going back to office is so dreadful.

This is my blog, I don’t have to pretend to be happy or be positive when I can’t. 

Dislike positive police who is so smug in their positivity. 

Also, don’t like social justice warriors who is always looking for ways to be offended and so unforgiving for other people’s mistake. 

I want to exercise but all I do is lying on my bed surfing nets after work. 

Even Pokemon doesn’t excite me anymore. 

All my unhappiness can be point to work but money from work is my only escape route from unhappiness from work. 

Need to do one meaningful thing in the remaining 2/3 of the year. 


More than a week has passed, I still feel sad that he was voted off. But he looks stunning as a jury member. Also, gleeful that there ghoul was voted off. Karma is a bitch. 

I love Survivor but I will never be part of the fandom. I don’t like the elitism and entitlement of the super fans. The way they scorned at Ozzy, who rely on physical strength and survival skills rather than strategic mind was very unsettling for me. If Survivor is just about strategy, I would just see people sitting in their comfort in Big Brother. 

The way the fans put Cirie and Malcolm on a pedestal while scoffing at Ozzy was such a turn off. I actually watched Cirie played in Survivor Panama and Malcolm played in Survivor Philippines and Caromoan before I watch any of Ozzy’s seasons. So I should be more of a Cirie’s and Malcolm’s fan rather than Ozzy’s fan. Instead I became an Ozzy’s fan. There is something mystic about Ozzy, who live in his world, that is endearing to me. 

I like Malcolm but saying Malcolm is better than Ozzy is a stretch. In their first seasons, Ozzy manage to win immunities when necessary to go to the finals. Malcolm has a chance but screwed up when Denise knew that he was not with her for final 3 and made a final 3 deal with Lisa & Mike. He couldn’t win immunity even with the advantages. Also, Malcolm lost challenges in Matsing and Mana. Ozzy helped Aitu 4 significantly to beat Raro and helped Tavua to be strong. You may say that Malcolm was screwed by JT in Season 34 but served him right for siding with a player who like to snitch to opponents.  In addition, if he align with Tony, he might still be in the game because he is not the  biggest target. 

For Cirie, I was neutral towards her in Season 10.  I didn’t adore her like the rest of  the super fans.  I find her condescending when voting off Yau Man. Don’t remember anything about her in HvV. She threw a hissy fit at Ozzy for requesting her to row a boat to the sea and now I must celebrate that she is capable to cross a balance beam. 🙄

Need to vent because really hate all the criticism on Ozzy. I am also diliking Rob C constantly brushing physical players off. 

I do like strategic players such as Rob M whom I love since Season 4 and Tony. Tony is such a joy to watch. But I also like players such as Woo and Bobby Jon. Survivor is not just about gamebot. 


Contained spoilers

Started watching Survivor 2 or 3 years back. If I go to any message board or listen to Rob has a Podcast, I kept coming across Ozzy’s name. Most of the messages has negative tone to it. 
When Survivor 34 was announced, heard a lot of people are not happy that Ozzy was coming back. So, I have expected to dislike him even though I have not watch any of his past 3 seasons. 

When Tony was voted out earlier, I was so sad because I don’t have anybody to root for. I like Malcolm, Sandra, Aubry, Tai, Varner but they are not someone that I deeply care. To immune myself from the pain of Tony being voted off and also to escape from work life pain, I binge watched Survivor Cook Islands because I always wanted to know how Yul won. 

To my surprise, I actually am rooting for Ozzy. The loner from the underdog Aitu 4. Winning challenges in style. Unlike Yul who is always positive, Ozzy has a dark side. Throwing the challenge to get rid of Billy Garcia, outbursts on the mutiny, not sharing food with Candice etc, all this make him an interesting human being. My head knew Yul deserved to win, my heart really was rooting for Ozzy. 

Many contestants said that he is a loner, which made him more endearing to me. I’m a loner with lousy social skill and keep seeing people surpass me because I work hard but I don’t know how to sweet talk.  The super duper fans who kept downplaying survivor/physical aspect of the game really irked me. 

Ozzy was so young and good looking then. Fast forward 11 years, he has a worn out look. However, he is still good looking. He was under editted but they can’t edit out his brilliance in challenges. I knew he won’t last long and I worried for him, but this does not stop me from supporting him.

Survivor (contained spoilers)

I watched Survivor actively till Season 12 on TV in the early 2000s. Then, I stop watching because the show was becoming old. Also, a bit down then because my favourite such as Rob Mariano, Matt (S6), Bobby Jon never win. 

I remembered watching first episode of S13, then stop watching because there wasn’t anyone in the Asian tribe that represented me. I didn’t hate the show, it just that I have reality TV fatigue then.  

 I tried to get into the show again on Survivor China but never have the interest to watch beyond one episode. I vaguely remember watching a bit of Tocantins because I recalled all the ridiculous Coach’s tales and also feeling bad for the zero votes’ runner up. Never would I know that I would be listening to Stephen Fishbach’ weekly podcast with Rob C now. I remember feeling impressed that Russel Hantz found an idol without clue on premier of S19 but never watch beyond it. 

Was excited about Heroes vs Villians because I knew Rob Mariano and Sandra were playing. These were the two I was rooting. I knew a few of the heroes such as Tom, Colby, Rupert whom I dislike. Neutral to Jerrie, Cirie and Stephanie. The rest of them, I have not watch their complete seasons. I stop watching when Rob was voted off. Even though I was happy that Sandra won, I just didn’t have the desire to watch it. So, till now, I have only watch the pre-merger episodes of HvV. 

After HvV, I stop caring about Survivor for many years. Even when Rob M won in S22, I did not went back to watch the show. 

Thanks to advance of smart phone and tablets, I suddenly turn back to watching reality TV again. My sis raved about Brain vs Brawn vs Beauty and how a cop won a season in a villainous way. I watched the final episode without context and thought that Woo would win. 

Then, I started watching Survivor 29 ‘live’. I like it enough to go back to watch S28. What a wonderful season with colourful characters.  I came to love Tony Vlachos, Woo, Spencer and even Kass.  This season and Tony Vlachos are the reason I love Survivor again. I went back to watch S27, s26 and s25, and have watch every season after season 28. 

Was excited to vote some of my favourite back to S31 Second Chance. Voted for those that I watch from S25 onwards and those that I watch before season 12. For the dark age between S13-S24, I voted for Stephen Fishbach because of the podcast and also Peih Gee because the survivor crowd seem to like her. 

Now, I am watching S34. Was very upset that Tony was out. Although I like Malcolm and feel for him, wasn’t very sad when he was out. Love Sandra and was never one of those detractors that think she doesn’t deserve to win. However, doesn’t really like her arrogance when she was in power. She has a respectable vote off. Still think the winners should stick together. Also, don’t dislike JT even all his risky moves were too reckless. 

While watching S34, decided to watch Season 13, Cook Islands because I want to see how Yul win and also to see what is on the fuss about Ozzy. I binge watched it and really love the Aitu 4. It took me 11 years, but I finally went back to watch the season that I stop watching.  No regrets. 

I totally expected myself to be rooting for Yul but in the end, Ozzy is the one that I love. My head said that Yul won deservely, but my heart really want Ozzy to win. 

Random stuff

Watched Jacky Cheung’s concert and was very impressed. The stage was spectacular.   I love the part where all the stars are dancing around him. At 55 years old, he still can dance and sing effortlessly.  One of the best concert I ever attended. 

Watched Survivor Game Changer.  My favourite player, Tony, is voted off.  Doesn’t like the fact that Sandra targeted him and gloated while he was gone.  Sandra acted like Russel Hantz instead of the underdog in Pearl Island. Still think that their original plan to have all the treat in one alliance is a better idea. Now, Hali Ford & Troyzan, got free passes. Meh.

Feel sick after working too hard.  My body finally protested.

On a positive note, I finally remember how to float on water.  

Stranger than Fan Fiction

Fascinating read but heartbreaking. Finished in 4 days thought my vacation. 

Very meta.  Felt sad that after voting my fingers till they are sore for the People Choice Award, only brought jealousy and punishment for him. Hope that this was not the end of his career.